


"Partner"

by wheeeeeeeeeeeeee



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future Fish, Coroner!Ai, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, chef!haru, cop!Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 07:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheeeeeeeeeeeeee/pseuds/wheeeeeeeeeeeeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>haru mentions being rin's partner-ai thinks he's a cop- he is not a cop</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Partner"

All was quiet in the Iwatobi Morgue. Detective Inspector Matsuoka Rin and Nitori Aiichiro, Coroner, were investigating  a murder.

They were standing over the body when Officer Matsuoka's phone rang. "Shit." He looked at the screen. "It's the chief of police. I have to take this. My partner's coming to help with the case. Tall, black hair, blue eyes. If I'm still on the phone when he shows, being him up to speed." 

"No problem, Officer." 

"Thanks, Ai." Rin answered the phone and walked out of the room.

A few minutes passed, Rin still on the phone, when a man walked in. He was pretty as all hell, with black hair and blue eyes.

"Hey. Is Rin here? I'm Haru, his... um... 'partner'. He said he'd have a long night so I brought him dinner." He lifted a bento box. 

So this was Rin's partner. He wasn't in uniform, and he had what looked like flour on his shirt. Was it normal for cops to make cute little packed lunches for each other? Aiichiro had no idea. Cops are weird. 

"Officer Matsuoka's on the phone outside. He'll be back in a minute or two. The body's just in here if you want to start making observations."

"Thank s?" said Haru, following Aiichiro into the morgue. 

Haru looked at the dead man laid out on the table. "Wow." He said. "That is a dead person." 

"You sound surprised." 

"I'm not used to seeing dead people. I mean my restaurant serves meat but it's usually already cut up before it gets to me. I've never even seen a dead human before." 

"What? Restaurant?" 

 

It was then Officer Matsuoka walked back in. "Hey Ai. Any sign of Sousuke yet?  Oh, Haru!" He walked over to Haru and kissed his cheek. "What are you doing here?" 

"Brought you dinner." Said Haru, glassy eyed and shivering slightly. 

Rin put his arm around him. "What's wrong, shining?" 

"There's dead people here. I don't like it."  

“Aw.” Rin pulled him into a hug. “Ssh. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He looked over Haru’s shoulder to the coroner. “The fuck, Ai? You traumatized my boyfriend.” 

Ai blushed. “I’m sorry! I thought he was a cop! You said your partner was coming and he was tall with black hair and blue eyes and this guy showed up saying he was your partner and I assumed he was the guy you meant!” 

“My cop partner is  tall  with black hair and blue eyes. Haru is  medium height  with black hair and blue eyes.” 

“He’s taller than me!” 

“You’re short as balls, Nitori. Lots of people are taller than you.” 

“He said he was your partner!” 

“He is my gay boyfriend who I am dating romantically and have sex with.” 

“It’s true.” Chimed in Haru. 

“Sorry again.” Said Ai. 

“That’s okay. It was an honest mistake.” Said Haru. 

“Do you want a ride home?" Asked Rin. 

"If you're not still busy here, sure."

"It's fine. Sousuke can handle it." Rin lightly stroked Haru's cheek. "You come first." He kissed him deeply. Haru gently slung his arms around Rin's neck and lazily kissed back. Rin let out a soft moan and tightly grabbed the back of Haru’s shirt with one hand, the other migrating down to cup his ass. 

"Um..." Nitori raised a hand. "Please cut that out. You're in a morgue, for fuck's sake." 

They took no notice. Ai thought for a minute when inspiration struck. "OH MY GOD, HE'S MOVING!"

Rin and Haru both screamed like little children and jumped into each others arms like shaggy and scooby doo.  "DON'T WORRY HARU, AI, I'LL PROTECT US!" Shouted Rin.

He pulled his handgun from its holster and fired 6 shots into the corpses head. 

"I... I was... kidding... I just wanted you two to quit making out in front of me... you really... really did not need to do that..." Said Ai, brain splattered face turned white as a primary school history textbook. He wiped the gore off his face with his sleeve. "Can you clean this guy up while I go lie down somewhere quiet?" He left without waiting for an answer, murmuring under his breath.

Haru scanned the mangled corpse and looked at Rin. "Hey. I know that guy is your friend and to leave without dealing with that would be a dick move, but I will probably vomit if I stay in here another minute, so I have to ask: Wanna go home and take a bath with me?"

Rin paused before answering. "Eh, fuck it." He put his arm around Haru. "Sakura scented bubbles?" 

Haru almost smiled. "Sure." 

Rin grinned and kissed Harus cheek as they walked away from their responsibilities arm in arm. 

"Hey by the way, if you stop cooking meat because of this I'm so gonna dump you." 

**Author's Note:**

> epilogue rinharu had a nice bath and Ai had a nice nap-sousuke cleaned up the dead guy and in three process solved the murder- ai and momo did it using the morgue as a hiding place for bodies- if you're gonna hide a body hide it with other bodies- fuckin duh- sousuke got promoted to megacop- rin got fired and became a stripper- haru did go veg- rin broke up with him but came crawling back after half a tswift song- it was the longest they ever stayed broke up-


End file.
